I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
