i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
