Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
