my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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