I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
