You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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