ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How does one acquire holy water?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
