i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i came on her dog
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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