What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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