I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
