just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
