i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
