Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
