im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
