i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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