She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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