yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
