Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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