Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
