He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
