And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
