i jhust puked up my retainher.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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