Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i've created a new STD.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
