I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
