dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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