I love black thongs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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