I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
