Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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