I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
