The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
