Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
please don't ironically join a cult
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