Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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