what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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