am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
