I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
