i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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