I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
