Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
