never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
