U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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