Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
