He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
