the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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