So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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