I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
