Can i not drive my cunt home
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
