I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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