Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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