ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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