belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
