Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
